Dear friends,

        A BIG thank you to all of you for visiting my  blog & leaving your valuable comments! I do hope you to have a better understanding of how we communicate with others! This will not be the last entry, I will continue to update this blog and share with you what I have learn.  🙂

Cheers!

This will be my last entry before my dear lecturer Ms Hui will be grading us. Times really files and it has been an interesting journey, trying to think of topics which will link to what I have learned during the week. Today let us discuss on Computer Mediated Communication (CMC).

What exactly does the term CMC means to you? It can be define as an interaction between people and database all over the world. Communicators will then express themselves through words, smileys and emotions. Communication can be done on a one to one basic, one to many or many to many. Like what I am doing right now. I’m typing away at the comfort of my home, whereas you yourself might be reading my blog at your own convenient time and even penning down your comments. Therefore I am communicating with you on a one to many basics. 🙂

Technologies now a day are getting savvier. With just a click of the mouse we are able to get things done. For example, paying our bills online, online shopping, gaining access to information, playing online games, etc. As we are all so busy with our daily routines the fastest way to communicate with one another is through email, electronic conferences, newsgroups, MSN, facebook, friendster, etc.

As cmc is takes places in the cyberspace , there is indeed no limit to time zone. Recently in the wee hours of the morning I was searching online for a particular brand of hair products, tying to locate a distributor/shop where I could go down personally to purchase it. It did not occur to me that I could try searching for online shops for my hair products. It was until I chance upon this particular website which sold what I wanted. Suddenly it dawn to me that I could do my purchase online with just a few clicks of the mouse and it is secure and convenient! Happily I purchase my hair products online and receive my goods within 3 working days.  From this episode you will realized that I am really not a tech savvy person… lol

I am sure you have also heard reports of people being cheated in email scams. Most of the time, this unscrupulous scheming people, cheat others for the sake of their own pleasure. These people are tapping on technologies to help them gain their financial wealth.

Getting to know more friends through social network like facebook, friendster and MSN, how many of us actually paint a different picture of ourselves to the new friends whom we have just being acquaintance? You might lie about yourself as you are worried that the other party will not accept you. One might create a new identity for himself/herself, living in their own fantasy world where no one will know who they really are.

If we are relying too much on the technologies to communicate with our friends, for example email (as it is really convenient); we have forgotten the human touch! Human touch is a very important aspect when it comes to communications. Without talking to your friends face to face, how would you know what is the true feeling of your friends? Via email they can paint a very beautiful picture of their lives, but who know they might be suffering deep down. Won’t it be better to give him/her a call sometimes to brighten up his/her day? 🙂

There are times we really need the help of technologies,  for example the advertising industries when they need to reach out to the masses to promote their products/events. Just imagine if there isn’t CMC, these advertisers would have to call their friends individually and tell them about the promotions and events and asking them to pass it through words of mouth. How long do you think it take for them to reach to the masses? It might take months, by the time one get to know about it the events might be over.

There are definitely pro and con for CMC. If we used it solely for good intention then it ok; for those who tap on the CMC for their ill intention. Please remember, what goes around will definately come back to you. 

Dr Toynbee & Dr Ikeda engaging in their dialoge

Dr Toynbee & Dr Ikeda enjoying their afternoon walk

Allow me to share with you a story about Dr Arnold Toynbee who visited Turkey to report on the events that was happening in Turkey. These events were never published in the news paper, .

This essay was written by Dr Daisaku Ikeda; president of Soka Gakkai (Value Creating) International. It is entitled: “Another way of seeing things”. A short film was made base on the essay show casing Dr Toynbee’s courageous action as a journalist and his wished to “listen to the other side”. We will discuss how  influential the media was and the various media theory that play a part in the Greco – Turkish war.

Dr Arnold Toynbee a British historian (1889 – 1975) visited Turkey in 1921, when he was 32 years old. He had gone to observe the Greco-Turkish war that had been raging for two years. He first observed the conditions from the Greek side, then from the Turkish. For Toynbee, guided as he was by Saint Augustine’s injunction “Audi alteram partem” (Hear the other side), this was absolutely crucial. And he placed particular importance on listening to the side that was “the more in danger of not being given a fair hearing”:

If one was to see straight, one must also see things from the mute party’s point of view… In the present conflict and controversy between the Greeks and Turks, the Greeks were the vocal party once again. The Greeks and the ear of the West, and the west was in ascendant in the world. I was familiar with the Greeks’ ease; I felt that it could take care of itself; the Turks case was the one that I must take pains to understand.

Toynbee traveled to a town where Turkish civilians has been massacred. He witnessed the suffering of Turkish refugees, and was outrage that these atrocities went completely unreported in the west. Writing down the facts exactly as he had seen them, he wired these to the Manchester Guardian, a leading British newspaper. The editor of the paper courageously published the full text of Toynbee’s reports.

Why “courageously”?

For centuries the Turks had been portrayed in the west as uncivilized savages. To make matters worse, the horrors of the 1915 Armenian Massacre carried out by the Ottoman Turks were still fresh in people’s memories. And indeed, when the articles appeared, the newspaper was besieged by a storm of criticism. People attack it for shamelessly publishing articles sympathetic to the “unspeakable Turks.” But the paper’s admirable stance of refusing to bend to what Toynbee saw as prejudice against Muslims shines to this day.

At the other end of the spectrum, the article made a deep impression on the Turks. They were astonished that a young Englishman had visited a Turkish refugee camp, that he had impartially recorded what he had seen, and that a British newspaper had actually published it.

It was the first time their side of the story had been conveyed to the world. Years later Toynbee animatedly recounted how Turkish people gathered round the newspaper, their faces flushed with excitement as they read his article.

Relying only on information from the west – viewing things always from the western perspective – does not provide a true picture of the world. There is an African view of the world, a world seen from the Middle East, from Latin America, through the eyes of various ethnic minorities. There is more to international society than just war.

On his homeward journey by train from Istanbul, Toynbee began to outline what would become his lifework, A Study of History. Based on those notes, he later developed the groundbreaking historical theory – written from a truly global perspective – that was his great gift to humankind.

Shortly after his return to Britain, Toynbee was forced to resign from London University over what was seen as his support for the Turks. He told me (Dr Daisaku Ikeda) that for the next 33 years, he made his living writing reports on international issues for the Royal Institute of International Affairs, an independent research organization.

The young Toynbee knew it was wrong to stereotype and thus dehumanized people as the Turks has been. It was necessary to get to know individual Turks. He put this conviction into practice, learning Turkish and making friends with Turkish people. “When one become personally acquainted with a fellow human being, of whatever religion, nationality, or race, one cannot fail to recognize that he is human like oneself…” 

After reading this essay, what is your view? Will you believe those reports that were in favour to the Greeks without finding out the truth from the Turk? Are you swayed by the malicious report? 

This also reminds me about the Iraq war lead by the Bush administration. Have the media actually published the suffering of the innocent people, the atrocities of the soldiers who tortured & killed the prisons of war and worst of all rape and murder.  You might say a few of these cases were being published, but I am sure there were many more of such cases which were not published at all. Media has become so influential that we are sometime deceived by it. 

From the essay, you can identify very strongly the Agenda Setting Function  – this is where the media has the ability through repeated new coverage, to raise the importance of an issue in the public mind. Whatever that were reported may not be the truth!

• The media portray that the Turks were uncivilized savages.
• The Greeks were the “pitiful ones”

Second, Media Hegemony – the media represent the view of the power elite; it is influence by those who hold economic and political power.

• The West who were ascendant in the world.

Thirdly, Media Determinism – where medium is more important then the message.

Fourthly, Spiral of Silence – People who disagree with the message broadcast by the media often refuse to voice criticisms for fear of being socially isolated.

• The suffering of Turkish refugees, which was completely unreported in the west.
• The prejudice against Muslims

Lastly, Cultivation Theory – Media do not influence audience attitudes directly, but cultivated indirectly.

• The media play such important role in influencing the audience, for centuries they believes that Turks were uncivilized savages.
• Stereotyping people – viewing things always from the western perspective.

The above five media theories mentions fall under the moderate effects models where the media still has the ability to influence its audience. As citizens we must seek to identify the truth rather then being swayed by malicious reports and start to stereotype. In closing, let us be a more humanistic person who will take the conscious efforts to care for the people around us. 

The world today, ethnically diverse; all of us come from different cultural background, brought up with cultural different beliefs and linguistic. Why is intercultural communications so important, it help us to seeks and understand how people from different countries and cultural beliefs, communicate and perceive the world around them.

Communication is important in many aspects. We need to communicate with one another when we are dealing with our business partners, military cooperation, science, education, mass media, entertainments as well as tourism.

With the lack of knowledge of another person culture, it can lead to embarrassing or amusing mistakes. Such mistake can lead to confusion or even worst we might offend the other party unintentionally. Take for example; if a Chinese businessman who wish to strike a deal with a Caucasian and he is not able to express himself clearly it will be difficult for him to secure the deal.

Here are some examples which Donnell King from Pellissippi State Technical Community College has kindly provided us from the advertising world of how simply translating words is not enough – a deeper understanding of the other culture is necessary to translate the meaning more effectively.

•  Pepsi Cola’s “Come Alive with Pepsi” campaign, when it was translated for the Taiwanese market, it conveyed the unsettling news of, “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave.”
• Colgate-Palmolive toothpaste named “Cue” was advertised in France before anyone realized that Cue also happened to be the name of a widely circulated pornographic book about oral sex.
• A General Motors auto ad with “Body by Fisher” became “Corpse by Fisher” in Flemish.

Learning about someone culture is a great way to improve one’s intercultural communication. All this can be done through reading and watching documentary. However, the best way to understand another country culture is to travel to there and experience it yourself first hand. 

It will be ideal if you can do a research on the country which you will like to visit. Taking note of the type of local foods available, the way the people live, learn their spoken language, their history. It is only through mingling with the local, trying out their local cuisine and join them in their festival can you truly understand their rich culture. One should also take the effort to understand the new environment and modify our behaviors so that we do not cause insult or disrespect.

Take for example Spain, where they have this annual Tomato Fight the worlds’ biggest food fight: every year the last Wednesday of August, around 30,000 people will descend on the Spanish town of Bunol (in the Valencia region of Spain) to throw more than 240,000 pounds of tomatoes at each other. This culture can only be found and appreciate in Spain; can you imagine if we also have tomato fight in Singapore? 😀

Thailand is another country which has a rich culture.  The locals celebrate their Thai New Year, which is also known as Songkran every April 13 – 15. This festival can be concluded as one of the world largest water fight. Please visit this link to catch the locals in action!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2220602/largest_ever_water_fight_thai_new_year_or_songkran_in_chiang_mai_thailand/

Students exchange program is another way which you can experience another country culture. As you will be staying with your host during your exchange program, you will get to experience their cultures and they will introduce you to things which you have not experience before. But then again if their culture is something which you cannot perceive, then culture shock might set in.

I remembered visiting China with times with my family. I was “warned” by friends who has visited China before; that the toilet does not have a door especially in the rural area and it will be advisable to bring an umbrella along. As we are all living in a city, many of us are accustom to have a door to protect our privacy when we are in the toilet. Can you imagine going to a toilet without a door? I really can’t imagine but decided to go there with an open mind. I can’t really remember which province I visited but I was in for a real culture shock during my first visit. Never in my wildest dream did I expect the toilet to be what I was seeing. Their toilet is design in such a way that it look like a drain with a waste paper basket at the side of it for you to throw you tissues. As the place we visited was one of the tourist attractions, out of consideration two cubical at the back happen to have a small piece of cloth to cover tourist who were shy. The moment I saw it I freak out, so did the rest of my tour mates. If you are unlucky and u happens to go to a cubical when the previous user did their “business” in it, then you will get to see it! They will only flush the toilet once a week during winter season! (If I don’t remember wrongly) There you go this is their culture and the locals are used to it. After this trip I still continue to visit china as it is really rich in culture and the sceneries are really beautiful!

I feel that it is really important that we are open-minded; we must learn to understand the way things are done base on each culture and appreciated what the local does. Although it might be a huge culture shock for us. 

If we take the conscious effort to understand and respect each other culture, don’t you agree that the world will be a better place to live in? 🙂

Reference:

http://www.geocities.com/travelwithyour/m_cult1.html

http://www.diplomacy.edu/Language/Communication/main.htm

http://www.spain-info.com/Culture/tomatofight.htm

Today is the time of the week again. Gotta start writing my blog entry. Today topic will be on Group communication.

What exactly is group communication?  (I realized I love to ask question base on my topic) A group communication is “a collection of individuals who, as a result of interacting with one another over time, become interdependent, developing shared patterns of behaviour and a collective identity” – Trenholm (2004)

Let us take an example. You sign up to part of a dance group and you are required to come down for an audition. During the audition, you can see many individuals with different dance background. After the auditions, you are select together with the other people to be part of this dance group. As all of you train together, interacting with one another slowly you will take after the characteristic of a group.

 Sometimes, you might ask why we must work in a group when we can perfectly work on our own, thus minimizing unnecessary conflicts. Indeed some tasks are best done individually; however, there are task that are best done in a group. Having six heads working on a project it better than one head working on it, the more difficult a project is, the more it needs for group interaction.

The first advantages of working in a small group, is that groups provide more input than one individual does. Sometime one is able to surpass their limits when working in a group as compare to working alone. Working together as a group, you are able to motivate one another to work hard on the projects.

The second advantage of working with other is that cohesive groups provide supports and commitment. There are times where projects are simply too much for one to handle or manage. This is the time where group mates are able to split the projects to different parts and work on it.

The third advantage of groups is that group can meet members’ interpersonal needs. We work together because we like being with people and because we feel that they can help us meet individual needs.

I have work with many different people on different projects. Each project allows me to understand my teammate’s better, it allow me to have a better understanding on the project and also pushes me to the limits. I remembered working with a wonderful group of friends on a programming project. We were supposed to come out with a programme, where we can control a robot to do various task as command. I have fun working with that group of friends; they were really a committed group of people. Though, there may be times that there are conflicts, where we have our own individual preference in the way with how we work and how we want the project to be accomplished. The good thing about working in groups is that we were able to pool in our individual talent to contribute for the success of the projects. We were able to make collective decision together, working on tight deadlines together. On the contrary, working in groups sometimes might leads to misunderstanding, when message is not passed down properly, or when one cannot accept that his/her  idea was being turn down by the rest.  

To sum up, working in groups can be very enjoyable where everyone contributes equally. It can also be very frustrating if you have members who are just out there taking a free ride.

Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship. ~ M Scott Peck  

Love was in the air for couples who were celebrating Valentine’s Day yesterday. Do we treasure what  we have right now? How exactly were relationship forms? Mark Knapp forms a model of relationships which describes the progession and development of relationship as a series of  10 stages in two phases.

First Phase – Coming Together                  Second Phase – Coming  Apart

Stage 1:  Initiating                                      Stage 6: Differentiating

Stage 2: Experimenting                              Stage 7: Circumscribing

Stage 3: Intensifying                                  Stage 8: Stagnating

Stage 4: Integrating                                   Stage 9: Avoiding

Stage 5: Bonding                                        Stage 10: Terminating

I will be focusing more on the coming together phase. Allow me to share with you excerpts of this heart-warming article, which was feature in The Straits Times – Special Report segment Published on 14^th Feb 2009.  About how a homemaker who stands by her once strong and healthy husband who is now paralysed.  Let us talk about how they met and got together base on Knapp’s Model of relationships.

Stage 1: Initiating (How they first met)

This couple met when she was 17 years old growing up in Sanur, Bali.

Stage 2: Experimenting (Getting acquaintance with each other)

Siti Fatimah loved teasing the Singaporean man who always patronized her mom’s satay stall daily. She would always tell Mr Chong Tee Chye who was working for an ornamental fish supplier “Get married quick and hire me to look after your children” Loves work in a mysterious way. A year later, Mr Chong did get married and his bride was Siti.

Stage 3: Intensifying (Disclosure of feeling to the other party)

Siti Fatimah’s mother used to wonder why he came to the stall everyday. It was only later that he told her, he just wanted to see her. He told her it was “cinta pandang pertama” using the Indonesian phase for love at first sight.

Stage 4: Integrating (We are a couple)

He won her heart by being nice to her parents and siblings, especially to her younger brother

Stage 5: Bonding (Commitment to one another, Marriage)

They married in 1993 after she has completed the Indonesian equivalent for A levels. He was 35 , she 18. The couple made Singapore their home just before the arrival of their daughter Farah Rasita, now 14. They went on to have two sons Muhd Rifqi, 10 and Muhd Raihan, 6. He doted on her and took care of everything. He brought the groceries, took the children to school, paid the bills and ferried her everywhere.

Life seems complete for the couple together with their three children who move in to their own spanking new four rooms flat in Sengkang in 2000 after living several years in rented quarters.  However, misfortune has a role in this loves story. Tragedy struck on the very faithful day 28 Aug 07.  

Mr Chong who did not return home as he always did by 5pm and his employer rang several times asking where he was. When he did not appeared by midnight, her neighbor  Rukmina Debi brought her to file a report at the police station. Soon after, his employer rang to say that Mr Chong was found slumped against his seat in his lorry, which was parked by the side of a road near his office. The engine was running, the air conditioner was switched on but he was unconscious. A blood vessel had burst in his brain and he was in coma for more than a month.

Doctors told Siti to expect for the worst. Even if he were to wake up, they said, he would be severely incapacitated. “But she scolded them and told them that no matter what, she would always be by his side” said Mdm Rukmina. Mr Chong did open his eyes, the day before Hari Raya Aidilfitri. He went home two months later, unable to speak and paralysed on his right side. Although he can now lift his left hand, he can barely control it. Yet he is lucid and fully aware of his surrounding. He “speaks” by pointing to letters of the alphabet on a folded poster Siti always keeps by his side.

Beside bathing and dressing Mr Chong everyday, she ensures he gets his meals every 3 hours via a feeding tube. Some nights, she tosses and turns worrying over finances and her children’s future wondering what could have been.

The family is indeed very close and it is obvious. When the youngest boy comes home from school, the first thing he does is to kiss his father’s feet and bury his head affectionately in his neck. Siti would also consult him on issues concerning the children. When they want something, she will tell them to ask him, as he is still their father.

As for Mr Chong he knew that he has a great wife. He salutes her by painstakingly raising his left hand to gives her a thumbs up.  When asked if he worries about his wife and their children, he let out a piteously guttural cry. A trickle of tears seeps from the corners of his eyes.

From this little sharing, I am sure one can see how committed Siti was to take her of her paralysed husband on top of her 3 children. This is not an easy feat for a lady who need not worry in the past about anything except to cook, mind her children and keep the house tidy.  I think she is truly an amazing lady who never gives in to defeat no matter how tough the situation was. I love the way she teach her children to continue to love and respect their father. As for Mr Chong, you can see that he is truly worried about his family. From the  piteously guttural cry to a trickle of tears seeps from the corners of his eyes. However, there is nothing he could do to help his family. Imagine the pain he has to go through silently.

 To all the couples out there, be nice to your partner, treasure them before it is too late and most importantly be committed!

Perception is the process of selecting, organising and interpreting information in order to give personal meaning to the communication we receive. ~ Seiler & Beall

Few people have the imagination for reality.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There is also another saying that goes “Perception is not always reality” which I rather agreed.  I always have the perception that certain travel companies offers excellent services through words of mouth, however after signing up to their tour packages you get disappointed. Their services were really not up to standard…

Sometime we perceive thing without knowing the truth. There are times where we are bias with our thinking that we tend to stick to what we think even though we know that in reality it is not this way.

Many a times when we first met someone for the very first time, from the first impression to the way they behave, the way they dress.  Probably they might have given you the wrong signal and you will then perceive that this person is aloof or you will think why this person acting likes that. However after getting to know the person better you realized that the perception that you have formulate about this person is indeed not what you think he or she is. He or she could have turn out to be a really fun loving fellow. 

Take for instance you are shopping around at a local departmental store; you come across a shop which is tastefully design. The very first impression that you have for the shop will be “wow the concept of the shop is so cool, the owner might have spend a huge amount of money renovating it; therefore I think the clothes that they are selling in there will be rather expensive”.  This is the perception that we have for the shop before even stepping in. However, if we were to step in to the shop and browse around, you will then realize that what they are selling is indeed affordable.

While we were young, our parents will always tell us. If you do not study hard, you will end up being a road sweeper or a cleaner. Being young and naïve, you will believe that what our parents said is true. As we grow older, we will realize that what our parents used to tell us is just a way to motivate us to study harder. 

I guess pretty much we established degrees of shared perception through our up bring, our environment, psychological and social factors. I will leave you to ponder deeply on the quote from German born author, art and file theorist and perceptual psychologist Rudolf Arnheim.  “All perceiving is also thinking, all reasoning is also intuition, all observation is also invention”

Mr Tan Yong soon Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Environment and Water Resources was recently caught in the spotlight for the article which he wrote on The Strait Time – Life section on Jan 6 2009.

In his article he wrote on how  he brought his family to learn basic culinary at one of the most prestigious cooking school Le Cordon Bleu at Paris.  He boasted on how easy it was for him to take 5 weeks off from work  and splurging S$45,000 alone on course fees excluding travel, lodging and other expense.

A few days ago, I visited Yahoo Web site. At their featured column, one of their daily highlight caught my attention. Out of curiosity,  I was link to Yahoo! Answers  forum where the editor invites netizens to discuss their view on what they think of Singapore permanent secretary Tan Yong Soon’s Fiasco?

I am amazed that a total of 1299 people replied to this forum. As I was reading the views of our local netizens, i realized that there were two distinct sides of the camp. Camp A supported him on spending his own rightful money  and camp B criticized him for being so insensitive at times of the economy downturn.

Personally I felt that as a doting father and husband he has done nothing wrong to bring his family to Paris to learn culinary skills and spending precious quality time with his family.  I also applauded him for taking the courage to do something out of his comfort zone.

This is not a trip where they are enjoying themselves, they are learning a skill. This trip could have been plan many months or even years before the economy downturn. Singaporean nowadays are living in such hectic lifestyle that one might find it very difficult just to have a simple meal together with ones family.  So what is wrong with him spending quality time with his family?

Come to think of it what is S$45,000, to a person who can afford it? How much does it cost one to study at a university abroad? It cost much much more and no one is baiting an eyelid on it!

I  got no issues of him spending his own hard earn money for his family. The only problem is he could have done it discreetly he could be a little more sensitive when writing this article. As for the editors at The Strait Time, they too play an important role as to when to publish the article at the right time….